The Invisible Fence
One of my favorite leadership and inspirational writers, Craig Groeschel, tells the story of a St. Bernard dog named Max, who sees a car driving down the road – and, as much as he would love to chase it, he holds back. Or Max sees boys playing with a ball close by, but can’t bring himself to chase after their ball and hide it from them. Or engage in any other playful behavior outside his own yard, such as chasing the neighbor’s cat. Why? Max’s humans installed an invisible electric fence to keep Max in – you know, the kind that produces a mild electric shock to help Max understand that he’s gone too far. And actually, the story goes, the humans removed the fence a few years ago. But Max still will not leave the yard. Why not? The fence is gone, so now what keeps him from chasing cars, balls, and cats? He believes he can’t. He is convinced the electric invisible fence is still there, keeping him from that magical world outside – a world that would be magical except that he associates it with pain. Groeschel puts it this way: “In his mind, he is a prisoner, missing out on the life he wants to live. . . . He has no idea that the only thing keeping him constrained is a lie he believes.” (Winning the War in your Mind, p. 42)
Maybe that’s giving Max too much credit – “We’re different,” you say. “We humans know when the electric fence has been removed.”
But are we really all that much different?
What beliefs constrain us? What do we continue to believe that really isn’t true – or at least can be questioned?
The acronym for many of these beliefs is GAILs.
Which GAILs might apply to you?
Gremlins – that little, invisible but oh-so-mighty inner critic bug that sits on your shoulder and says, “You can’t do this” or “You don’t deserve this” or “Play it small, play it safe; you wouldn’t make it anyway.” Gremlins thrive on fear; we dread failing, feeling pain, being rejected, feeling embarrassed. What is your Gremlin whispering to you to hold you back?
Assumptions – the belief that, because something happened a certain way in the past, it will be the same in future. When you already “know” something won’t work, you are much less inclined to try it again. But why? Why must it happen again the same way?
Interpretations – an opinion or judgment or explanation you make about an experience or event. We make interpretations all the time, creating an opinion about an event, a situation, or an experience. What we often don’t realize is that our interpretation represents only one viewpoint among many that are possible. Letting go of interpretations opens us up to greater opportunities and experiences.
Limiting Beliefs – something you accept about life, your world, other people, that limits you in some way. A key difference between Interpretations and Limiting Beliefs is that Interpretations tend to come to use externally, whereas Limiting Beliefs usually emanate from inside. We often accept Limiting Beliefs because we learned them from someone else, something that happened to you, or another authority.
Which of these might be your invisible fence? What are you telling yourself, that is holding you back from setting goals and direction; from putting action plans in place; from getting obstacles (like GAILs) out of the way – but probably isn’t true?
Whatever it might be, let’s find time to explore that and see how overcoming one or more of your GAILs can lead you to new opportunities and experiences.
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Hope to talk soon!
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